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In Reply to: Etiquette Question - what would you do? posted by Lurker Mike on November 27, 2000 at 09:31:11:
If they show up with a bottle unannounced, and you really prefer to open your own wine (especially if theirs is plonk or otherwise less worthy), it's perfectly polite to say, "We have a bottle of red that we'd planned to open with dinner; would you mind if we opened that first? Of course, if anyone prefers to drink white, we'll be glad to open your white as well." If it so happens that you never get to their bottle -- oh, well. Offer to let them take it home, "Gee, it looks like we didn't get to that Chateau Chundra. How about you take it home and enjoy it yourselves?"OTOH, if you have no strong preferences, you can simply ask, "Would you like us to open that with dinner tonight?" (Leaving unsaid the second part, "or we'll throw the swill out as soon as you're gone.")
BTW, from the other side of the fence, as a guest I know that this sort of thing sometimes presents a dilemma for hosts -- so I try to make my intentions known when I walk in with a bottle of wine. If I would like it to be opened with dinner, the most polite thing is to call ahead, say I'd like to bring a bottle of wine "to have with dinner", and then inquire what main course they were planning so I can pick an appropriate match. That also gives them a chance to politely decline, "Thanks for your thoughtfulness, but we already have some wines picked out."
OTOH, if I'm intending the bottle as a gift, I'll make it clear when I walk in by saying something like, "Here's something for your cellar," or perhaps "This might be great to enjoy the next time you're serving roast lamb." Hopefully, they'll feel no obligation to open it that evening.
-- Joel
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